Ah, Sundays. One thing I love about them is the feeling of renewal. Sunday for me is the transition period between the old week and the fresh adventures ahead. It symbolizes a reconciliation, and in a very real sense, forgiveness.Before you ask, I spend my Sundays at church. Instead of shopping or cleaning or having parties or anything you would expect an independent college student to do. And here's the shocking part: I do this of my own free will.
If anyone has been wondering why I would choose to go to church every Sunday, let me explain. I believe that when I was baptized, I made certain promises to God that I would do everything I could to be like Him. To love like He did, and to do as he asked. However, being only a human, and prone to mistakes (like, all the time) I tend to fall short on keeping those promises. I go to church every week to make those same promises, over, and over, and over again. Sometimes I forget that. But when I remember, when I really think about the purpose of church meetings, I feel so...renewed. Even though my stress and my hardships and my problems don't disappear, they get lighter. Like someone is literally taking a burden off of my shoulders.
Sometimes people judge me before they know me, just because I'm Mormon. This can be both good and bad. I admit, I've gotten the question, " I thought Mormons didn't believe in doing this or that?" To that I can only say, I'm not perfect. I don't always do everything the way that I believe I should. But that's the whole point of my religion. It isn't a church of perfect people who think they're better than everyone else. If someone is acting that way then they're doing it wrong. This is merely a church of sinners who are trying to do better. Who believe in the power of forgiveness, and have experienced firsthand the healing that comes from it. I don't believe in condemnation, but I do believe in growth, and progress, and peace. I believe in acceptance.
I'm not saying repentance and forgiveness is always easy. I'm not saying being Mormon is always "easy", especially when a lot of the core values I have are completely opposite to today's norms. But it's worth it. I help people who need it, I try to be honest and compassionate, I'm happy. Like, actually happy.
I wish I could fully explain to you everything that I believe in. I wish I was good enough with words to help you understand, even a little bit, of why I am who I am and why I do the things I do. I have spent so much of my life trying to find a way to make everyone happy, and still be happy myself. The only way I've found that works, time and time again, is this: live like Christ. I'm serious. You may think I'm being a religious fanatic. But I am honest when I say that when I am in harmony with God, then my life is in harmony with me. I have test scores and job offers and a wonderful sweet boyfriend and multiple otherwise unexplainable things to prove it.
Okay, last thing before I go. In less than a month, I will be back home, after spending seven months at college. While I'm excited to see my family (and even more excited to see that cute blue eyed man of mine that's more home to me than any single place) I am going to miss Idaho every second that I am gone. It's changed me. I have had the privilege of living with amazing women that have become my sisters and my best friends. They have no idea how much they have changed my life, and how strong and beautiful and wonderful they are. We have had so much fun together, and I'm going to miss them like crazy until I get to come back. I never thought I would say it, but this has been one of the best years of my life. I have grown up and grown stronger. I have found hope and faith and love in some unexpected times and places. I am content. Until next time, happy adventuring.
